A Day in Life
Last Wednesday, a passenger in a taxi heading for Stafford station leaned over to ask the driver a question and gently tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.
The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.
For a few moments, everything was silent in the cab. Then the shaking driver said “Are you OK? I’m so sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.”
The badly shaken passenger apologized to the driver and said, “I didn’t realize that a mere tap on the shoulder would startle someone so badly.”
The driver replied, “No, no, I’m the one who is sorry. It’s entirely my fault. Today is my very first day driving a cab. I’ve been driving a hearse for 25 years.”
~ A reported true story from Manchester Evening Times
The 411 on 911
I’m planning a trip to Iceland in August with a group of friends. We’re using a Google Doc so everyone can see the itinerary and the packing list. Since I’m the only one who has traveled internationally before, and a lot of us have health issues, I think it’s important that my friends know that 9-1-1 is NOT the emergency phone number in Iceland, but 1-1-2 is. (We are all American and used to 9-1-1.)
Although I plan to explain this on our next group call, I still type at the top of the “Good To Know” section: “112 is the Icelandic version of 911.”
My best friend called me the next day with questions.
Friend: “What happened on January 12th?”
Me: “Uh… nothing that I know of? Why?”
Friend: “You put in the Google Doc that January 12th is Iceland’s 9/11.”
Me: *Laughing* “9-1-1! Not 9/11! 9-1-1!”
Friend: “Oh, okay. What is Iceland’s 9/11, then?”
Me: “I don’t think they have one.”
Friend: “But doesn’t every country have its version of 9/11?”
Me: “Darling. No.”
It’s Been Fifteen Years! Where’s the “Thriller” Sequel?!
I’m in a vintage music store looking at vinyl and CDs. I overhear two customers looking at Michael Jackson vinyls.
Customer #1: “Is this one of his newer albums?”
Customer #2: “Yeah, that was the last one he released.”
Customer #1: “He’s not releasing any more?”
Customer #2: “No… he’s dead.”
Customer #1: “Still?”
Jurassic Park #1
Reading this story reminded me of my own experience. I am a teenager at the time, working my first job out of secondary school, in a big natural history museum. While I am not a guide or curator or anything like that, I do know the departments pretty well and can help some museum guests if they’re struggling with some of the concepts.
We have a short movie playing near the end of the dinosaur exhibit that shows the asteroid hitting the Earth and ending their reign. This entire conversation was in Italian but it comes off the same way in English:
Guest: “I don’t understand. What happened?”
Me: “Well an asteroid hit the Earth, and it was so violent it caused a series of mass extinctions all around the world, including the dinosaurs.”
Guest: “It killed every single dinosaur?”
Me: “Eventually, yes.”
Guest: “That’s insane, there’s no way that an asteroid could strike every dinosaur at the same time! Were they all gathered in the same spot?”
Me: “Erm… no. Dinosaurs near the impact point died straight away. Those further away died later.”
Guest: “Oh, so the asteroid bounced?”
Me: “…No, it just caused so much damage that it changed the climate and destroyed the food sources for most of the animals.”
Guest: “I don’t understand. I think maybe instead it bounced.”
The guest left feeling sure they had it right, leaving me with the mental image of a giant asteroid bouncing around the Earth like a ping-pong ball specifically targeting individual dinosaurs…
Emphasis on the Death part of Death and Taxes
I recall back in the 1990s having a conversation with a client when I was doing their taxes.
Client: “I’m so glad I have you to explain all this. It’s so difficult!”
Me: “Yeah, it can be tough to get through. We all study for years just to understand it.”
Client: “I’m just glad we live in a civilized country where they don’t blow up your house for not paying your taxes.”
Me: “I’m sorry, what?”
Client: “I saw on the news! Those people in Ireland must not be paying their taxes. The IRS keeps bombing their houses!”
Me: “That’s not the IRS, that’s the IRA.”
Client: “That’s what I meant the IRA. The Internal Revenue Association.”
There was a LOT to unpack there, but I did unpack it… and I didn’t even charge him for the lesson!
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